Sunday, November 10, 2013

Carr

It was a normal working day for Carr at Prada. Customers in and out, most of them not buying anything. His job was only to greet people most of the time, and he excelled.

Then came along a man, ragged was his clothes. A worn out Lakers cap, a white polo shirt slightly yellow around the armpits, loose cargo pants, slippers, and a scruffy beard. He entered and started browsing the items, all the while stroking his beard like it was a cat. At times he would scratch his nose and even ram his fingers in his nostrils. He also looked very tired and weary, with eye bags underneath his eyes, a slightly pale face and a slouch on his shoulders.

Carr observed the man from afar, thoughts playing in his mind, prejudices toying with his professionalism and hesitation suppressing his will for duty. He looked around at his co-workers and they all gave no heed to the man. Some made disgusted faces, some gave judgmental expressions, some even laughed at him. "Assholes", thought Carr.

His willpower was indeed strong. Carr approached the man and uttered his work mantra, "how can I help you sir?"

The man stared at Carr with his weary eyes for a solid 5 seconds, making Carr very nervous and awkward. The man then switched his gaze around the store, catching every eye of Carr's co-workers until he stopped at one person.

"You! Come over here," bellowed the man. His voice was indeed commanding. Carr felt a slight tingle down his spine.

The person summoned by the man shuddered and slowly made his way to him. Carr saw that his co-worker was anxious, nervous and probably scared.

"Are there things in this store that you like?" the man said. The summoned person was hesitant to answer, and he looked at Carr in case there was any hope for him to be spared of whatever may come. Carr looked away, more out of fear than anything. What Carr feared at the time remains a mystery.

"Y-y-yes. I've always wanted those shoes," The summoned man finally answered. The man stared at the pair of shoes and said to Carr, "would you please take a pair of those, his size?"

Carr was confused. He didn't know what to do. He looked at the summoned man and he shrugged. The entire store was silent. Everyone was quietly watching this drama unfolding. A drop of sweat was flowing from Carr's temple.

"Hurry now, lad. I haven't got all day," the man broke the silence. Carr rushed to get that pair of shoes.

"Now, when I entered this store, literally no one wanted to speak to me. Is that correct?"

"You," the man sent a thunderbolt down the summoned man's spine with his voice, "you even looked at me with disgust. I want to ask you, how much do you make here?"

"A-a-about a grand and a half a month..." answered the summoned man.

"So, you will never be able to afford this shoe right? The pair of shoes that you see everyday, from 10 a.m to 10 p.m. So let me buy it for you."

Carr's eyebrows almost disappeared in his hair when the man declared this, and his hairline is receding. The summoned man was shocked, but a slight smile was etched on his face soon afterwards. He was speechless, much like everyone else in the store.

"Th-thank you so much sir, b-but, are you really sure you want to do this? Even after what I did to you?" said the summoned man. It was the morally right thing to do.

"Yes, now please check it in at the cashier. I have places that I need to go. Scurry now," the man said. The summoned man rushed the shoes to the counter and keyed in the numbers.

"That would be thirty-two hundred, sir," said the cashier. The man dunked his hand in his back pocket and dished out three thousand and two hundred dollars in cash. Carr drooled a bit seeing this, and he didn't care. He has never seen three thousand and two hundred in cold hard cash. He savoured every moment.

Then the questions emerged. Who was this man? Why does he carry around that much money in his pocket? Why is he so scruffy? What the hell? Carr looked at his co-workers and it seemed like nobody was thinking of these questions except him. They were all smiling and patting the summoned man's back.

Then other questions emerged. Why didn't I get the shoes? Why would the man buy it for the asshole that gave him such bad treatment? Why is this happening? What the hell? Carr sat down and and frowned. He was never a lucky man. He was a nice person, but never lucky. Poor Carr.

The store suddenly erupted into shouts and screams. Carr snapped out of his wallowing. There was a fire in the store. Carr quickly ran to the locker rooms and grabbed a fire extinguisher, but when he returned, the fire was out. Again, poor Carr.

His disappointment, though, was short lived. He looked at the source of the fire, and saw that it was a box. A shoe box. Carr looked around and saw shocked faces everywhere. The summoned man was holding his head and his eyes were almost popping out of their sockets.

By this time, the mystery man was already at the door, ready to leave. Carr stopped him, "Sir, what have you done? And why did you do it?"

With his bellowing voice, the man answered, "Son, I am a multimillionaire, I came here today like this because I am looking for a nice gift to give my wife. I was locked out of the house because I didn't put the toilet seat back down. But don't judge her. I love my wife and she loves me. However, your co-workers here are assholes. I come in and no one bats an eye? I run a business, and I give an audience to anyone who sets an appointment with me, no matter how they look. Do you know how many hobos out there that have their own houses because I gave them jobs? Do you know how many street kids who now make so much more than you do because I gave them jobs? They came to me looking for jobs and I gave them. Now they are successful and they always write to me, tell stories about me to their children and friends. I am a multimillionaire. You people don't even make a fraction of what I make and you are all so arrogant! Fifteen hundred a month? I make fifteen hundred an hour! You see how easily I bought those shit shoes, and how easily I burned them in front of you? You must think I'm the most arrogant bastard ever, but I was showing you how arrogant you people were earlier, and how I, as the customer, felt. I put you people in my shoes. Doesn't feel so good, right?"

Carr was sweating so much that his whole face was drenched. The man noticed this, and added, "Oh but you, son, you are an exception. I will write to Patrizio Bertelli himself to commend you. I will see you be made manager of this branch, your co-workers fired and replaced with more professional ones. Oh and please give me your address. I will see that you get an upgrade on your transport, and your house will be renovated so you will look more like a Prada branch manager."

Carr's jaw dropped so much he had a cramp. One of his co-workers fainted and the summoned man froze like a sculpture before running out of the store crying.

What the hell?

Wisdom

"Hey, hey...Listen, I like you. I like you not just because you're beautiful, which you are. You're saying you're not? Well then you are to me. Isn't that enough? That should be enough. I like you just the way you are. I like all your strengths and weaknesses, all your imperfections, flaws and what not. That's you. And I like you for that and no other reason. Why change? You don't have to. I don't care what other people think of you, and you must think that way too. It's you and me, not you and them. I want you, and you want me right? Not them, right? I want to be with you. And if that means that I need to change, so be it. I'll do anything to be with you. You're special and the fact that only I can see it makes you even more special. Okay? I'm here for you, anytime, all the time. You can count on that. And I don't care if you can't do the same to me. If living this way is the only way that I can be with you, then so be it. You're just too special and too precious to me. I don't need a perfect person, I need a person perfect for me. I don't need someone to complete me, I need someone who makes me feel complete. I don't need someone to fill up the holes in my life, I need someone who I can share my life with. That's you. I like you....."

is what every woman wants to hear from their man.

But bear in mind, while words are comforting, they are not concrete. They are mere band-aids. The healing of the wound depends on your own clotting agent. It's how you eat, drink and live your life.

Choose. Wisely.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Enigma

"The heart wants what the heart wants" - Penny (The Big Bang Theory)

I guess that's pretty true.

You've been an enigma. I feel like I know you, but I've never met you. I would like to meet you and see you and know you, but you always elude me.

You look ordinary, simple.

You're an enigma, mysterious.

You seem wonderful.

And I let you slip by. Maybe another day.

It's 5.30 in the morning and I'm still awake. I should probably sleep so my brain won't vomit more nonsense. Nevertheless, I need some place to vomit. Thank you, the person who created the concept of blogging.

I'm sure I'm not the only person enjoying writing bullshit and getting away with it.

Friday, November 8, 2013

God Save Us

A night of winds, a night of clouds, a night of skies. 

A day of breeze, a day of sun, a day of horizons.

Someday I'll fill this world with happiness, though I can't say I will be happy myself in the process. It doesn't matter though. Happiness has always eluded me; it comes and goes like lightning striking a tall structure. Yes, that fast, but when it hits, people notice.

I digress yet again.

Been up all night trying to finish up marking scrapbooks that I volunteered to do. God save those kids. Really, God, please save those kids. God save me as well. I will be a teacher one day and marking and grading shit will be a routine. Oh screw the kids. God save me.

The current generation needs to start reading. A lot. Or I might just die young out of severe depression, or spontaneous combustion, or spontaneous head explosion, or a heart attack.

Keelah Selai.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

After A While

I'm afraid I can't bring myself to write anything despite the fact that I wanted to let go of some things. I used to adore writing freely. I guess that's what education does to you nowadays.

They take what you love and give you what they want.

And we oblige without hesitation, because we are followers. We are robots. We are hollow. We do as we are told. We do as we are programmed to. If we don't, we are the left, the vagabonds, the rejects, the "stupid", the trash.

But that's not my point.

I imagine that it would be nice to have company with you.

When you live a life full of holes, voids and emptiness, it would be nice to have someone to share it with. Not someone to fill the holes and voids and emptiness, but to share the holes, the voids and the emptiness. Why fill it up when one day a giant earthquake will happen and the ground will give way to much larger holes, voids and emptiness?

Maybe sometimes people just don't care. Maybe what I am is pathetic. And maybe what I need is just a hand to help lift me up, you know, because I'm fat and heavy and shit. But who knows what I need.

Most of the time, like the ones around me, I don't give a rat's ass either.