Wisdom

"Hey, hey...Listen, I like you. I like you not just because you're beautiful, which you are. You're saying you're not? Well then you are to me. Isn't that enough? That should be enough. I like you just the way you are. I like all your strengths and weaknesses, all your imperfections, flaws and what not. That's you. And I like you for that and no other reason. Why change? You don't have to. I don't care what other people think of you, and you must think that way too. It's you and me, not you and them. I want you, and you want me right? Not them, right? I want to be with you. And if that means that I need to change, so be it. I'll do anything to be with you. You're special and the fact that only I can see it makes you even more special. Okay? I'm here for you, anytime, all the time. You can count on that. And I don't care if you can't do the same to me. If living this way is the only way that I can be with you, then so be it. You're just too special and too precious to me. I don't need a perfect person, I need a person perfect for me. I don't need someone to complete me, I need someone who makes me feel complete. I don't need someone to fill up the holes in my life, I need someone who I can share my life with. That's you. I like you....."

is what every woman wants to hear from their man.

But bear in mind, while words are comforting, they are not concrete. They are mere band-aids. The healing of the wound depends on your own clotting agent. It's how you eat, drink and live your life.

Choose. Wisely.

Enigma

"The heart wants what the heart wants" - Penny (The Big Bang Theory)

I guess that's pretty true.

You've been an enigma. I feel like I know you, but I've never met you. I would like to meet you and see you and know you, but you always elude me.

You look ordinary, simple.

You're an enigma, mysterious.

You seem wonderful.

And I let you slip by. Maybe another day.

It's 5.30 in the morning and I'm still awake. I should probably sleep so my brain won't vomit more nonsense. Nevertheless, I need some place to vomit. Thank you, the person who created the concept of blogging.

I'm sure I'm not the only person enjoying writing bullshit and getting away with it.

God Save Us

A night of winds, a night of clouds, a night of skies. 

A day of breeze, a day of sun, a day of horizons.

Someday I'll fill this world with happiness, though I can't say I will be happy myself in the process. It doesn't matter though. Happiness has always eluded me; it comes and goes like lightning striking a tall structure. Yes, that fast, but when it hits, people notice.

I digress yet again.

Been up all night trying to finish up marking scrapbooks that I volunteered to do. God save those kids. Really, God, please save those kids. God save me as well. I will be a teacher one day and marking and grading shit will be a routine. Oh screw the kids. God save me.

The current generation needs to start reading. A lot. Or I might just die young out of severe depression, or spontaneous combustion, or spontaneous head explosion, or a heart attack.

Keelah Selai.

After A While

I'm afraid I can't bring myself to write anything despite the fact that I wanted to let go of some things. I used to adore writing freely. I guess that's what education does to you nowadays.

They take what you love and give you what they want.

And we oblige without hesitation, because we are followers. We are robots. We are hollow. We do as we are told. We do as we are programmed to. If we don't, we are the left, the vagabonds, the rejects, the "stupid", the trash.

But that's not my point.

I imagine that it would be nice to have company with you.

When you live a life full of holes, voids and emptiness, it would be nice to have someone to share it with. Not someone to fill the holes and voids and emptiness, but to share the holes, the voids and the emptiness. Why fill it up when one day a giant earthquake will happen and the ground will give way to much larger holes, voids and emptiness?

Maybe sometimes people just don't care. Maybe what I am is pathetic. And maybe what I need is just a hand to help lift me up, you know, because I'm fat and heavy and shit. But who knows what I need.

Most of the time, like the ones around me, I don't give a rat's ass either.

1Bangsa, 1Negara, 1Malaysia

cute girl + ugly guy = Gold Digger

ugly girl + handsome guy = Hidden Agenda

ugly girl + ugly guy = "Kill Them Before They Lay Eggs!"

cute girl + handsome guy = "They Must Feel Insecure"

Achievement Unlocked: We Are One

aren't we all?

What's In A Name?

now this post may be offensive. tread lightly. but whatever.

I warned you.

may I know your name? what does it mean? do you even know what it means? if you know the meaning, does it satisfy you?

some of your names may or will suck, I know. because mine suck like the tentacles of an octopus. I'm just saying though. it's a good name of course, being one of the Prophet Muhammad's sahabat and all, but the meaning kinda sucks.

Abu Dzar = father of small things

hence my size, I guess.

I want a name that's got a great and deep meaning, like Saifuddin (the sword of religion) or Dzulqarnain (two-horn) or even Akmal (perfection), but we all know that's out of the question; I'm stuck with "father of small things" til the day I die.

don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about my name. in fact, I'm quite grateful because people can easily remember my name.

however, I must say I am not a big fan of kids nowadays' names that are a mouthful just to pronounce (I am not going to name these names out of respect and fear of my reputation). the saddest thing is that some of these elaborate names have no meaning whatsoever. it's just a random permutation of vowels and consonants that looks aesthetically pleasing and "cool" to say, or unique.

I pity these kids. let's just look at some celebrity's kids' names. Gwyneth Paltrow's kid is called Apple. who the hell names their kid after a fruit? Nic Cage's son is named Kal-El, after the true name of everyone's favourite superhero, Superman. needless to say, Nic Cage is an idiot. ha. ha.

another issue haunting our society is the stupid mentality of downgrading names that are not of Arabic origin. I mean, why? as long as it's got a good meaning right? why would someone think a name like Himar (ass as in the animal) would be better than Shinji (faith) just because Himar is Arabic? this is preposterous.

so I'm just saying to my generation, because most of us don't have kids yet, please, if you truly love your future kids, name them properly. it doesn't matter what language you use, just make sure their names have good meanings.

oh just do what you want, I don't give a rat's ass.

posted from Bloggeroid

The Theory No-One Understands

as a fat guy, I sometimes face tricky situations related to my physical state. some are annoying, some I get by through the mantra "I've done this before, this isn't a problem" I recite countless of times while facing said situation.

there is one situation though, that I particularly dislike (a word I choose as to not use strong negatives).

let me explain this phenomenon with the use of points, because I'm a lazy fat guy;

- hot day

- need to wear shirt/baju melayu

- fat guys sweats like wet towel

- wear t-shirt under or not?

see the problem? I hate being sweaty. as much as girls like sweaty muscular guys, I hate sweat (I protect my muscles under layers of fat).

so if I don't wear a t-shirt underneath, the hot sun will melt me like a brownie in a microwave oven. but if I do wear a *protective* t-shirt underneath, the heat that my body generates will have a problem getting away from me, and that will make me sweat even more I'll be a walking, talking wet towel.

the simple solution here would be not wearing a t-shirt underneath right? but no. not wearing a t-shirt may make me sweat less, but "sweat less" in this context means "sweat like you've run a marathon", and everyone can and will see it. I don't want that. it ruins my self-esteem (blergh).

so wear a t-shirt underneath, right? also no. read what I wrote above and you'll understand, though if you have to read it again, I presume you won't understand. I hate sweat. people may not see me sweating, but I feel me sweating and all wet underneath. I hate it. period.

another hate post. sweet. I don't really care though. it's the internet. it's just, I don't care.

posted from Bloggeroid